Rhymes added occasionally

Bill Clinton's Future Rhymes

for Little Belfast Girls

1

Belfast, Derry,
quite contrary,
how do your gardens grow?
With stones and yells
and CS shells,
and soldiers all in a row.

2

Wee Willie rioter
runs through the town,
throwing stones and petrol bombs
and burning houses down,
crying at the funerals
so everyone can see,
and blaming it on England
on American TV.

3.

Humpty Ulster
walked on the walls,
Humpty Ulster
had some great falls,
all the Queen's officers,
all the Queen's men,
couldn't put Humpty
together again.

4.

Little Jack bomber
lurked round the corner
as all the Brit soldiers went by,
He cocked his big gun
with his cute little thumb
and said 'One of you's goin' to die'.

5.

Peace-porridge hot,
Peace-porridge cold,
Peace-porridge in the pot
Seventy-eight years old.

Some will like it hot,
Some will like it cold,
Some will keep on stirring
While some of us grow old.


6.

Sticks and stones
will break my bones
but names will never harm me;
unless they're a
punishment beating
by
the Irish Republican Army.


7.

Ding Dong Bell!
Northern Ireland's been in hell.
Who helped to push her in?
(Clue: it rhymes with 'sin').
Who pulled her out?
Of that there is no doubt -
the bride of peace has found a groom,
and his name is Johhny Hume.


8.

Wee Davy Trimble
was awfully nimble
on the barricades at Drumcree!

But once he had reckoned
that real power beckoned
he was reasonable as could be!

9.

Sing a song of sixpence,
the smuggler's riding high,
four and twenty Armagh sheep
baked into a pie;

when the pie was opened
the foot-and-mouth was freed
to kill the Celtic Tiger
through stupid peasant greed.


10.

Baa! baa! black sheep,
have you any wool?
Yes sir! (sorry) No sir!
in Brussels there's a fool
who pays an annual premium
for sheep I haven't got.
Have I been snuffling in the trough?
Well, frankly ... quite a lot!


11.

I have a little arms dump,
but I won't tell you where,
because I'd have to give it up
and that would not be fair.
General John de Chastelain
really gets the hump,
because I won't surrender
my little arms dump.

He thought he had it sorted,
and so did the Finn.
They want to seal my arms dump,
but I will not give in.
I say 'I will not use it,
if the Brits will just agree
that the only winner in this war -
is me .. me .. me'


12.

Holy Cross Skipping Song

The Landrovers drive through the ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The Landrovers drive through the ally-ally-O,
On the last day of September.

The blast bomb sails through the ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The blast bomb sails through the ally-ally-O,
On the last day of October.

The big men scream through the ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The big men scream through the ally-ally-O,
On the last day of November.

The women spit through the ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The women spit through the ally-ally-O,
On the last day of December.

And shame seeps through the ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
The ally-ally-O,
And shame seeps through the ally-ally-O,
and hope is a fading ember.

Don't know the melody? - click
here


13.

How many miles to Omagh Town?
Three score and ten.

Can I get there by candlelight?
Aye, and back again.

You can give the kids a special treat
by leaving Death parked in the street.


14.

Georgie-Porgie, pudding and pie,
avoided Vietnam while learning to fly,
but when Osama came out to play,
Georgie-Porgie ran away!

15.

Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,
dissimulez-vous, dissimulez vous?
Le cheque brittanique, le cheque brittanique,
n'est pas l'issue, n'est pas l'issue!

(issue used in the figurative sense of 'way out' or 'solution')

URL: www.mourne.org/rhymes.htm